I have this problem.

I seem to start blogs and then leave it after a couple of posts, because it’s not the right site name or the posts aren’t cool enough or I’m just looking for other reasons.

Mostly I think it’s me thinking I’m not good enough. It’s me judging myself before I give a chance to anyone else.

This time I’m not going to do that. What I’m looking for here is a cathartic page to journal my thoughts. Also I’m looking for consistency from myself. I want to move one step further from blocking my own thoughts and limiting myself.

I want to begin a new habit.

I’m going into survival mode. The ‘homemaker’ in me is gradually going into hibernation. There is a strong urge to do things that liberate me, even if it a walk in the park outside the layout boundaries. The rebel in me wants to get out while the mom in me stays ever anxious.

I want more physical movement. For the moment, till I feel sane, I’m going to do only so much to ‘eat’ healthy. What is there is what I will eat. I don’t want to break my head over eat. I don’t want to force myself into a guilt of not cooking and not eating healthy.

How long, I’m not sure. But for now I’m going to switch on the survival mode and stay put. Till I can get out.